No matter

My mom always used to tell me, that if you feed a roadside cat with milk 7 days a week; it would end up outside our house on the 8th day, asking for more. Thinking about relevance of this story here? Arre, roz roz hum hi tumhara yendertainmentu (trying a lola-kutty accent this time) karenge kya? Ab toh post-less day ki aadat daal lo, hum XL bhi jaane wale wapis 4 dino mein. Fir toh, my posts would be inversely proportional to the frequency of quizzes in the class. [reader: kal hi toh AB se compare kar raha tha, aaj aa gaya aukaad pe?]. I justify my stand - visit his blog today, fir kehna aake; bade aaye muh uthaake, taana marne.

Phew! So much justification for not having any masala to write today. Countdown has started for my return to the college (ok, 'institute'), just like the countdown for Chandrayaan; the only difference being, I am not that eager for the countdown to end (and upar se, mere 'take-off' se poore Hindustan ko koi farak nahi padta). For those readers still wondering, "kaam ki baat toh kuch likhi nahi, pata nahi hum kyun aaye aaj" - kyun bhai, David Dhawan ki movie dekhte waqt to apna dimaag fridge mein thanda-thanda-cool-cool karne chhod jaate ho, isey bhi aisa hi 'light-weight' post samjho. Ok, for all those still unconvinced by so much of gyaan-bachan, here are some lines(to add some 'matter' to this post) that I penned sometime back. (Rapidex saath leke baitha hoon - bahut dino baad ingreji mein likha hain. More Hindi poetry may follow in the coming days)

Strolling along the shore,
We watch the sun hide away from the golden sky
As I match your steps,
And the waves kissing your feet, recede by,
Holding your hands,
Those precious moments that we were together,
Lost into your gleamy eyes,
With a promise to make it, A Walk to Remember

Aur ye tum log sirf visit count kyun badhate ho, kabhi comment bhi kar diya karo. (Ramesh Powar ho kya? Field pe aake wickets badhata hain, runs nahi)

PS: Shhh.. No questions about the 'you' in the lines above. You will get the same old reply - imaginary' ;).

Sweet dreams..

Just to let you know that I have not digressed into writing only the below-mentioned kind of poems :). This one always reminds me of one of my sweetest dreams, after which I would never want to wake up that morning..

I see a thousand colours painting the sky,
The sun hiding at the horizon, pleasing my eye,
Feel a cool breeze, and roses, my hands running through,
To live this dream forever, I want to...

Meri kalam se...

With the absence of posts for a long time, I think you would have understood the importance I attach to reader requests, by not continuing on the tech-blog lines. (Oh! how much pain it was, to resist my fingers from typing so many significant tech-news that I read these days..) But, on the insistence of some of my close friends, I began writing some more Hindi four-liners. Only that this time these were with a 'different' purpose. Here, I have some lines with an 'imaginary ('virtual, pseudo, whatever you may wish to call it!) person in the context..

My imagination running wild, on the day Mumbai faced pleasant blink-and-you-miss-showers last month or so...

Yeh thandi hawa jaane kahaan se chali hain,
Mitti ki ye khushboo, dil ko choo gayi hain,
Baraste boondo se chehre pe nami hain,
Jannat hain ye, bas tumhari kami hain.

And when the train stops till eternity (or so it seems) on an almost-empty station, I could think of nothing but this...

Aaj in nazron ko dekhkar, ye mehsoos hua,
Waqt tham jaaye, to koi gham nahi.
Is muskurate chehre ko dekhkar ye mehsoos hua,
Dil ka dhadakna ruk jaaye, to koi gham nahi.

And one more, local train-window seat setting-- an ideal scenario for a person like me :)

Woh zulfe teri, aur woh nigaahen nazar aati hain,
Chehak si hansin kaanon mein bas jaati hain.
Jaanun har kadam, pehchaanta hoon har aahat,
Jab dhadkanein meri tez ho jaati hain.

Let's give a poetic end to it (or should I ??)

Har raat yehi sochta hoon,
Aankhen band kar, tumhe yaad karta hoon.
Aur usi yaad mein jo do shabd gun-gunaata hoon,
Duniya mein ek shayar kehlaata hoon.

Just a request...Please do not compare it with all the great Hindi shayaries that you have heard till date. And, if you have read the first 3 lines of this post, you will never ask me about the reason for these lines. Or so, I assume..

PS: Whoever got the idea of me contributing to a book [hehe..haha..I didn't start this :)], only I can understand how difficult it is, to maintain readership of even a simple blog like this. (Look at the kind of posts I have resorted to !)

Some Hindi musings..

I have got a very good team with me at my work and my dear colleague Muktesh is a very good poet. He converses (and pens,too) largely in pure Hindi which unknowigly makes me 'think' in hindi sometimes. These are some four-liners that originated in the same local train musings..

Sapne toh hazaaron dekhta hoon,
Unhe paane ka honsla rakhta hoon,
Par agar ek bhi toot jaaye,
Toh ujale mein dhund ki tarah,
Unhe sama mein kahi kho deta hoon.

One of my other colleagues remarked that, i always laugh, make fun of everything and am not serious about anything. (can't believe it, no?). This is what I have to say..

Kisi ki muskaan dekhkar hans deta hoon,
Sannaate mein aankhen nam kar leta hoon,
Meri bhavnayein nahin;yeh toh bas ek aaina hain,
Zindagi mein bas ek parchai banke rah jaata hoon.

And being entangled in code and deadlines (though I love it!!), I felt something like..

Yeh raat, raat nahin; andhere ka saaya lagti hain,
Subah,subah nahin; kiranon ka ghera lagti hain,
Kya jeena ise kehte hain,
Yeh zindagi toh ek toota khilona lagti hain.

I had some more, but will post them later. These are anyways in a very raw form and I feel may work against increasing the readership!!(:)).
PS: If you feel that this kind of poetry is worth spending a few minutes, do look over all of them (including many English poems) and comment.

The quest ...

I'm back again!! No loong reasaons..I was just veryyy busy with my work, and my PC too is still dead. Lotsa thoughts running through my mind these days..Just get very little time to 'document' it (software lingo :) ). My creative half takes over at 10pm on my way back in the local trains...This one (ya! I know it will seem very amateurish..), was the result of one such quick attempt.

I went on a quest that other day,
In search of that dear face.
Dying to see that beautiful smile,
To feel that glint in the eye.
To hear that heartening giggle,
To wipe that occasional tear.

I went far and wide,
Walked all the streets I know.
Met my dearest friends,
Scoured the oldest mails.
Recalled my sweetest memories,
Sung that melodious song.

Tired of my long quest,
When I rest my feet.
I realise how futile the journey is,
As I rest my mind in thoughtless state.
He's waiting for me with open arms,
At this very place all along.
And when I close my eyes and look within,
I find my priceless treasure - the real "me".

I don't know how you would have found it. But,anyways, I plan to return to my earlier mode this new year.(if time permits,that is ;))

My sweet memories ...

Somehow I wanted to sum up my whole Bhubaneswar experience in this poem at the end of my ILP. But even then I may have left out many incidents, which may find a mention in some posts later. Many of the phrases used here are typical of the ILP-ians (some are even specific to the AFG core committee!!) and others may not comprehend it..Sorry,but couldnt complete the poem without them.

I came here to this unknown place,
Leaving my home and friends behind.
I was sure of taking nothing back
Not even some sweet memories.

The first day I met so many friends,
With jokes and laughter all day long.
Our stories, fears, and targets we shared,
It seemed as if, it we had been friends all along,
But now I have nothing of these
Except the sweet memories.

Waiting for the D slots,
Presenting the finance/marketing sessions,
Enjoying the manchurians and custards at lunch,
Banging our heads at our laptops,
Now I do nothing of these,
All that is left is the sweet memories.

The bargains with the rickshaw-wallahs,
Our weekly 'trips' to Big Bazaar,
The orders for the Smokin' Joes pizzas,
And our live-with-nature mascots-insects,frogs & cows,
Now I miss all of these,
And am left with only sweet memories.

The superb carvings at the Konark temple,
The violent beach at Puri,
The famous(& hard to approach) Lord Jagannath-ji,
And the tan to top it all,
Where will I find all of these?
Except in my sweet memories.

The huge and scenic Chilika Lake,
The dolphins showing up now and then,
The sand blowing at me on the Seamouth,
The serene and superb (wallpaper) beach,
How short-lived were all of these,
They live only in my memories.

The reticent kids at the tribal school,
And the smart ones at the SOS village,
The white marble of Kalinga's Dhauli stupa,
And the numerous temples at Lingaraj,
Will I again get to see all of these?
Besides in my sweet memories.

The B9!,B9! shouts and the antaksharis,
The 1 Lakh plans seen everywhere,
The all-new (!!) experience at the dance party,
And the esteemed (& steamed) Aaltu Faltu Group-AFG,
I cant forget any of these,
I preserve these sweet memories.

Life moves on, as they say,
Not such a great loss this may be,
But then one phase of life, it surely was,
And forever with me are my sweet memories...

The Rose Garden (II)...

Please read the first part of the poem in the earlier post. I actually thought the poem ended with the earlier part. But then on another significant day in Bhubaneswar, I continued it with these lines...It may seem boring because of the redundancy, but then it was still important for me to write this..

I couldn't forget that beauty; that sight,
I planted a rose at my place,
Hoping I would have that experience,
That joy, in a few days.

I waited there each day,
With hopes running through my mind.
But later,I forgot to water that seed,
And even nature was not so kind.

There it lay unseen,unknown,
For days, yearning for me.
But I couldn't care even a bit,
Oh! How stupid I could be!

TOday, I went to see it bloom,
Hoping a beautiful welcome.
But then, the rose wasnt there
Only thorns I found some.

The same pain,the same gloom,
Dark clouds over me.
Tears flowed down my eyes again,
Life is still a failure for me.

I don't know what the future holds,
I may still win some day.
But now, the wait is not yet over,
The real garden is still far away...

The Rose Garden ...

I wrote the following lines in Bhubaneswar after a significant day.

Walking on this long road
Here is where I finally arrive.
The 'rose garden' is what they say,
Not just flowers, but fully alive.

I saw lilies on the way,
On the golden daffodils I did stare.
They called out to me all along,
But for those voices I didnt care.

This is the time I waited for
Roses all around,pink yellow and red.
The sight I could have never dreamt of,
Words i could have never said.

I picked one of them, so lovely it was,
For a moment my heart brimmed with joy.
But then, the nasty thorn pricked me hard,
I cried with pain; it hurt me,O boy!

I held that precious beauty still in my hand,
As blood oozed out of me.
My fingers felt those gentle petals,
But only the hurt thumb I did see.

A smile on my face, no longer than a blink,
Tears filled my eyes as I felt pain terribly.
Not at all what I wished!
The garden seemed so gloomy.

I walked away from the place,
Looking back at the fallen rose on the way.
Perhaps the wait is not yet over,
The real garden is still far away...

A tear to shed ...

My friend Vishwanath remarked that some of my poems were 'unselfish' in nature. On the contrary, almost every one revolved around me (such a selfish soul I am!!). So I thought of writing something besides my own life. (btw i have also changed my mind since none of the earlier ones achieved their 'secondary' motives). Did I ever care to think beyond 'my' life. I do it daily, but then this care is just momentary..Here's how I felt on hearing about the recent Meerut accident, claiming 10s of lives and injuring hundreds...

Do I not have a tear to shed?
For these ailing bodies, for these dead.
The corpses, uncared for, lie here,
Charred to death and mourned by their dear.

Children clinging to their mother's chest
They do not know, in total peace she now rests.
Wives call out their dear's names
Little they know he is already one with the flames.

Why has this happened to them, I ask the Almighty
You have punished not one, but fifty.
They may have been sinners in the past You say,
But such a cruel fate they met; was this a price to pay?

But even in this moment of grief
The leaders mock their death; I'm in utter disbelief.
The dead have to fight even for column space,
Coz stars make headlines, being jailed for 3 days.

My heart cried for them, it was in utter pain,
But it was just for a moment; and thus in vain.
Life moves on and I may not care. But I still ask myself,
Do I not have a tear to shed?

No Man's Land ...

One of my close friends had this conversation with me some time last year, wherein he was desperately in need of a shoulder to rest his head on. His words were so emotional that they touched my heart and I still remember those moments. This is how, I thought, he would have felt and had wrote it then..

Lonely this life is, I now understand,
Suddenly I feel as if in a no man's land.
My friends, family and all are far, far away,
There's no one around, to whom I can say.

"I feel lifeless, helpless, O Dear!
With your gentle hand, can you wipe off my tear?"
I feel blissed when I see you smile,
But even that pleasure I can't feel for a while.

Come, hug me. Say you are there for me,
Standing by me, wherever I may be.
Let me feel that joy, that happiness.
That invaluable moment of speechlessness.

I ask nothing else, O pal !
I won't mind anything else at all.
The time is now; I need you,
Hold your hands, I want to.

Else I'll drown in this ocean of gloom,
Forever. My life will be doomed.
Searching for you and all the others,
My heart broken, eyes full of tears.

In eternal darkness, on dry sand,
I don't want to live in this no man's land...

The Silken Thread ...

A silken thread in my hands I hold,
Which keeps me from falling down.
I am hanging from this huge cliff,
The river below waiting for me to drown.

I had come this far with all the ropes,
But none of them are now with me.
Some I threw; they were heavy and worthless,
Some fell themselves; alone they let me be.

I fear, if this thread breaks
I'll have nothing to hold.
Thousands of feet I'll fly down,
My body will lie in this river; Cold!

But I believe in the suppoet I have,
And my hands that grip it tight.
I know it'll take long,
But then, the goal is in sight.

One day I'll conquer this mighty mountain,
Overcome any storm or rain.
Others have either gotten there sooner or left,
But I find pleasure in this enduring pain.

It's almost impossible, but for this thread
I may still tumble down the slope.
But I know the peak is calling out for me,
For I hold this thread of HOPE...

The sound of silence ...

There are times when you feel to be left totally alone, miles away from everyone. Here are some lines that aim to capture that feeling (btw this interspersing of poems between the posts is intentional..if you didnt like these poems, atleast you can enjoy those 'prosaic' posts..)

Let me enjoy the sound of silence,
No mortals around; not even friends.
A thoughtless state for my mind to attain
Let this soulf feel no joy, no pain.

Let me break free of all desire,
From this meaningless life, let me retire.
Let me rise above this material world
Where hatred grows, abuses hurled.

Every move driven by wants, backed by false notions,
Not a man here is ready to live for his conscience.
No more of this I want now. No pressure or stress.
I am fed up of the false smile; when my heart is in distress.

Let me feel closer to God; to that utlimate goal.
Your words are just words; they no more console.
Let me leave this lifeless desert; let me go now,
And swim in that dropless ocean; that's the ocean of love.

Let me touch that morning mist,
Let me see the sun set hence,
Let me smell those thousand roses,
Let me hear the sound of silence...

The Joy Of Giving...

This week was full of hectic project work and I needed to wait almost daily till 5 pm in the college in front of my project PC. But a few days back, one of my friends had some BIG problems with their project work and approached me for help. I was almost totally exhausted both mentally and physically (My back was paining as I was sitting for the past 5 hrs in front of the comp. But then, I could not go without helping them, I never had done before...) So I waited back till 8.30 at this person's place and atleast gave them some idea to proceed..When I was returning home, the following lines flew out of my pen..(the metaphors are used in poetic sense..NO offenses meant!!)

Looking at me is a man in need,
His empty stomach he wants to feed.
He stares at me with high hope
But I have other priorities to cope.

For a moment I think of passing by,
Need I help him? I ask WHY?
Others may come after me, I feel.
Am I responsible for his wounds to heal?

But then I can earn the money that I give,
But he wants that penny just to live.
For me, not a great loss it is,
But the gains are worth lakhs of rupees.

A rupee I give him, the least I can do
From the bottom of his heart,he utters 'Thank You!'
The smile on his face enchants me
This is the happiest I could ever be!

My heart filled with ecstasy
The truth if life I can now see.
I now understand what's selfless living,
I have just experience the joy of giving...

The mighty river...

Some months back, I visited a place where I saw this mighty river separating some hutments from the meadows. The river looked so beautiful, but the villagers did not understand this. They were literally defacing the river with their daily chores and that's when I thought to pen the following lines...

I am that mighty river
Through the village which flows.
With hutments on one bank,
And on the other, the meadows.
The villager, his wife and others,
Bathe, wash and go away.
They see me daily in the eye
Not a word they have to say.
The green grass, on the other side
Drink me; drop-by-drop, day-by-day.
When they dance with the wind,
Thank you! They wish to convey.
I have put my soul into them,
And joy they shower on me.
Not like the man and his brothers,
Heart-less! They may be.

The sun shines on me all day
And I shimmer like gold.
A dark cloud covers it all,
The sorrow is then two-fold.
When you see me everytime
Gushing and joyful I may seem.
But that's just a robe I wear,
The truth is the other extreme.

Still I wait for the lightest ray
So that the smallest drop may glow.
And search for that smallest seed,
Tomorrow, whose friuts may show.

The sea is far, hope I lose never.
O Mother Nature! I wish I smile forever..

By the way, this was just before I got placed into this company, whose punchline I liked very much...Beyond the Obvious and which in many ways describes my character...