NO..I am not talking about those sweet nothings that take place between..ahem..a couple [i am the least experienced in that domain :( ], but those which should not be treated as nothings. I am speaking about those words which are left unspoken, under the notion that they should be conveyed without saying -'Thank you', 'Please' and 'Sorry'. One of my friends sent me an article where a management thinker says, "A good leader should not be hesitant in using these three words". I believe, for that matter, no team member should be.
There are very few people, I have found, who 'say' these words when needed. We are generally under the belief that, if you thank a person, you are demeaning his help or distancing himself from you.(The Friends-do-not-thank attitude..). Similarly, we feel that the other person is bound to perform the task given to him and you don't need to 'request' him for that. Or they think, "I will be embarassed if I apologise". Worse still, there are people who can never think of using these words with their juniors (in whatever sense). But we forget one basic point. We ourselves will like to be thanked for our good work. Then why wont others? Yes, these words are motivational, but they shouldn't be used for that purpose. That's just a by-product. The crux is, when in doubt, say it. We should not assume that the other person will 'understand' our feelings.
When I learnt about the importance of the need to express, I tried to cultivate this habit myself. Once, when I was part of the society in my college, we needed some documents to be xeroxed. But then, all of us were busy and I had to ask a (non-organizer) junior to get it done. It was during our break, and I myself knew how boring the task was (given that we were on the 4th floor!!). But then he did the job within 10 mins. When he returned, I said "Thank you for getting it done." He smiled and that expressed everything he felt. It actually worked.
There are also people who take it to the other extreme. They thank people for EVERYTHING, whether appropriate or not. We need not be so generous with our words. Then, the real feelings will get subdued and its importance suppressed. People may not realise, when you mean it and when you do not. It would be the case of the boy who yelled 'Wolf! Wolf!' all the time. When you actually mean it, people will ignore it.
When you feel grateful, Thank. When you are at fault, Apologise. When you want some one to help, request. And by the way, Thank you for reading this post. Sorry, if you felt this was a waste of time. And please, do post your comments.
There are very few people, I have found, who 'say' these words when needed. We are generally under the belief that, if you thank a person, you are demeaning his help or distancing himself from you.(The Friends-do-not-thank attitude..). Similarly, we feel that the other person is bound to perform the task given to him and you don't need to 'request' him for that. Or they think, "I will be embarassed if I apologise". Worse still, there are people who can never think of using these words with their juniors (in whatever sense). But we forget one basic point. We ourselves will like to be thanked for our good work. Then why wont others? Yes, these words are motivational, but they shouldn't be used for that purpose. That's just a by-product. The crux is, when in doubt, say it. We should not assume that the other person will 'understand' our feelings.
When I learnt about the importance of the need to express, I tried to cultivate this habit myself. Once, when I was part of the society in my college, we needed some documents to be xeroxed. But then, all of us were busy and I had to ask a (non-organizer) junior to get it done. It was during our break, and I myself knew how boring the task was (given that we were on the 4th floor!!). But then he did the job within 10 mins. When he returned, I said "Thank you for getting it done." He smiled and that expressed everything he felt. It actually worked.
There are also people who take it to the other extreme. They thank people for EVERYTHING, whether appropriate or not. We need not be so generous with our words. Then, the real feelings will get subdued and its importance suppressed. People may not realise, when you mean it and when you do not. It would be the case of the boy who yelled 'Wolf! Wolf!' all the time. When you actually mean it, people will ignore it.
When you feel grateful, Thank. When you are at fault, Apologise. When you want some one to help, request. And by the way, Thank you for reading this post. Sorry, if you felt this was a waste of time. And please, do post your comments.
3 comments:
oh..this is similar to that forward i posted...
gud post..really dont know wat to comment..jus writing this bcoz u ve requested(he he he..)
well u have confused me when to say thank u and when to say it not..
i say it every now and thn and it has become a habit...
anywayz nice post...
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